Life hack #20: Struggling to let go? This is probably why

Life hack #20: Struggling to let go? This is probably why

[00:00:00] Life hack #20 Struggling to let go? This is probably why. So I am big on understanding when it comes to a break up, especially one that feels pretty final, that you need to do whatever you can to let go of that relationship for your own benefit. Even if one day that person does come back, it does not help you to sit in a state of idle or anxiety until they do.

It does not. So it's in your best interest to move the F on and let go of that relationship, let go of the pain. And I have done a lot of different experimental techniques to try and help let go. I visited energy healers, shamans who do official cord cutting exercises and rituals. And it was helpful by the way, it was helpful, but there's layers of connection and contact that you have with people and you need to take it off in layers as well when you're disconnecting.

 In old relationships years ago, I'd like write something like goodbye to them and I'd like write throw it in a bottle in the ocean. You know, I wouldn't do that now by the way [00:01:00] because of littering. But I have actually let balloons go into the sky while saying goodbye to people.

I have done physical things to try and let go of people because it's so hard to let go of people. Like right after the balloon goes to the sky five minutes later I'm back in my head with all the rumination about the break up. Why did it happen that way? So yes, i'm trying i'm trying to let go and why is it not really working?

Well, one of the reasons that i've realized recently is because you have to be able to realize that you are not just grieving the loss of a relationship, a friend, a person that was important to you in your life, you're losing your future hopes and dreams that were associated with them. You're grieving for a loss of those memories you didn't make, those vacations you didn't take, those adventures you just never quite got around to doing.

And so not only do you have to let go of your past memories, you have to let go of your future ones that were never realized. This can be just as sad [00:02:00] as letting go of existing memories. And so another way to also help let go of your future hopes, dreams, memories with someone is to be able to start to visualize a future without them that is happy, peaceful, whatever it is that's in your goal list.

You need to be able to picture it in your imagination, in your manifestation visualizations, whatever it is, picture yourself happy, even if you're alone. Picture yourself doing something for yourself, coming home at the end of the day, making yourself something to eat, having a relaxing night and you know what, not sitting in your sadness because you're single.

Sometimes being single is peaceful. I remember I spent 10 years single after a major break up a long time ago and uh, I got pretty comfortable having a pretty stable existence, right? I didn't have anybody upsetting me a lot in life, like I was just doing my own thing and I noticed that it was pretty fucking peaceful, right?

You know, you bring your love in the mix and suddenly it's uh, emotional regulation is back on my to do list from my therapist. [00:03:00] Anyways, I digress. So, letting go of the future is so important and the way to do that is to build a new future in your head, a beautiful new visualization of what you want to do.

How do you want to feel? And forget about that person. That person doesn't have to be in this image, in this visualization. It's just about you. So if you're going to try and get through this break up by just letting go of, you know, burning pictures of you guys together or deleting chat histories. Yeah, that's one way and it's helpful.

But it's not sufficient. You also need to let go of your unlived future together. As hard as that may be.