Life hack #16: Contrast can give us perspective

Life hack #16: Contrast can give us perspective

[00:00:00] Life hack #16. Contrast can give us perspective. So one of the first things I started doing during my break ups is I would go to Reddit and I would read on all of these different threads about break ups and the no contact method and heartbreak and infidelity. And I would be reading and hearing other people's just heartbreaking agonizing stories about what they were currently going through.

And I did see a lot of supportive comments and so it is a good place to go and feel heard. If you do need to get things off your chest. But one of the things that I noticed was how helpful it was for me to see someone else's story that was so much worse in different ways. And make me realize that I actually was grateful that my situation wasn't that bad. Let me give you a few examples.

I've been to many break ups in my life and not all of them are the same. Sometimes you are living with somebody and then you suddenly break up and then you have to worry, not just about your heartbreak, but your safety. Where do [00:01:00] you live? How do you support yourself? These are things that can compound, right the traumatic experience a break up can be on somebody. And so right off the bat if you aren't living with the person you broke up with and you already have a safe place to live well, you're ahead of the game compared to a lot of other people out there. There are so many stories that I've read on Reddit where people are like, you know, I was a stay at home mom for our kids.

My husband cheated on me and then left me for the woman. I don't even have the ability to pay the mortgage or the rent. So I need to figure out how to make money then I need to figure out how to get a roof over my kids' heads long-term, all while dealing with a tragic and traumatic break up. Now, I don't know about you, but my situation isn't that bad.

So already I kind of just sit there realizing, okay, that girl who's going through something really different. And, uh, and I'm grateful that my situation wasn't that serious. I read another example of a gentleman who said that after he got [00:02:00] left by some woman that he really cared about, he said it was less than a week later he had a stroke. And then half of his body was paralyzed. Like the left half. And. It's bad enough when you break up with someone and, you know, you want your hot girl summer or hot guy summer after you, you know, pick yourself back up off the floor. What if you have a debilitating life altering injury, accident, health issue.

And not only is that person not going to come and be there for you at one of your darkest times, but you might not even know how you're going to take care of yourself or how you're even going to build back from something like that. And I remember seeing these stories when I was just, you know, in my own stuff, my own pain. And I remember thinking, you know, I'm a relatively young, I could pay my own bills, I am an independent woman. Yes, I can get my heartbroken, but it doesn't mean that I'm unsafe. I really do think that sometimes it's helpful to [00:03:00] look and see other people's struggles, and realize that maybe yours isn't as bad. Having said that if you're one of those cases where it is that bad. I'm sorry.

That's tough. Get support, get mental health supports. Reach out to friends, reach out to family, if you've got it. Because this is a enough to break a person. enough to make a person reach out in even unpredictable ways, right. For substances or things to try and cope with pain. And so I really do want to encourage people out there who are struggling in the most serious of cases to throw everything you've got at your healing.

Throw everything you've got at it. Because once you climb out or something like that, you will forever be stronger. You will forever realize that you're a survivor.

 So by the way, I do have a Instagram and Facebook for break ups memes.

It is literally meant for your doom scrolling needs when you're in that phase of "I need to see a quote that resonates and I'm going to hit like on a bunch of them." And that's me [00:04:00] talking to the universe in a way. Right? So I've actually, you know, compiled, so many of these. The link is in the description of this podcast.

But yes, you can go to those places and you can go and just find relatable content that makes you realize that you're not alone. Others are in this pain or have seen this pain. And, uh, the good news is there is a support system online. And sometimes other people's stories can just make us realize that we're going to be okay.

Our story isn't as bad.