Enforcing boundaries… hard but necessary

Today I had to communicate that I was out of chances for a previously good friend/(ex boyfriend). It’s never something I want to do… I’m always trying to solve problems instead of running from them. But sometimes you get to a point in a relationship with someone… where their continued presence disrupts your peace and happiness more than it adds happiness and smiles… when that balance tips… there is a different decision to be made than all the rest of the times before.

For me, respect for my time is paramount and non-negotiable (and vice versa of course). That means that if you need to bail or cancel on plans (ideally rarely) that you communicate that early enough so it’s not as disruptive (before I’ve shaved my pussy so to speak lol). It also means that you make every effort to show up when we have plans… and on time preferably.

I understand everyone has busy lives and sometimes we need to cancel and change plans last minute. What I was not able to ultimately accept was being left hanging without any text/cancellation when I was expecting to hang out, or at the very least hear that he wasn’t coming 🤷🏼‍♀️. I deserve better than to find out my friend isn’t coming over as we discussed than watching the clock tick by.. hour by hour… until bedtime.

This is like the sixth time it has happened and it is even the reason our dating relationship ended (then we transitioned to friends a few months later). Six chances… to not blow me off. To send a text saying he wasn’t coming. Anyways… I finally learned not to expect different and the final verdict is that I am not able to accept that disrespect for my time in my life.

So I told him I was out of chances for our friendship and that I wanted to make space for people who valued me and spending time with me.

It’s sad… he was a great guy and we had so much wonderful friend chemistry.

Sometimes you just have to draw the line about whether you will accept to “feel” this way any longer by someone… instead of trying to get them to not make you feel that way anymore.

(Deep Breathe)

I’ll never regret giving changes to people who ask for them genuinely. I’ll also never regret enforcing boundaries to protect my peace and wellbeing.