What do women want? We want to feel special to you.

I’m currently involved with a man who makes me feel like I’m the most special woman alive to him. By the way he is happily in like 10 other relationships with people who make him just as happy also (Poly).

I am likely sticking with monogamy(ish) for my long term singular partner in life (my goal) but in the meantime I have found that I can actually not only accept, but also enjoy, hearing about a partners sexual escapades with their other significant others.

The key? As long as I felt special to him and felt my needs were met… I was completely fine with whatever else he wanted to do lol. It’s admittedly selfish… but also honest. Almost like I found the key for the keyhole of compersion (aka the opposite of jealousy).

As soon as I’m lost in a crowd… as soon as I’m forgotten easily… it will likely end the dynamic for me. Sounds a bit blunt but I feel like I understand the psychology and fulfillment of it.

When I feel so special to a man that I smile when I think about him… it’s like temporary anesthesia in my jealousy energy… nothing hurts cause I feel so good. He could literally have on orgy at Comic-Con on the weekend and as long as he didn’t miss a beat in our dynamic I would be entirely happy for him. Funny isn’t it? For a mono like me especially.

Thought I would share this nugget of psychological insight. Perhaps it is a “template” you can apply in your dynamics as a strategy.

A strategy to make your partner feel like a special and cherished person even for the strategic sake of better returns for YOU? (Investment talk… lol.. I’m trying to translate to some men lol). Meaning maybe they become a lot more chill about shit if they feel cherished, beautiful, and special.

How? Words (terms of endearment), remembering things that are important to them (ranging from specific dates on a calendar to sexual boundaries), making space for them in your life, compliments (we like genuine ones a lot), actually mentioning how you feel about us can be very fulfilling for us emotionally, etc. You may have called me beautiful 5000 times… but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t felt good every single time 

~TorontoUnicorn