My cock-cleanse reflection: I was sick of men losing interest in me when we fucked too early

Guess what… I like sex. I’m a very sexual person… always have been.

I hoped we lived in a world when you could let ourselves get carried away on the first or second date, if the chemistry was right, and it would be a good thing. A spark that would ignite into an enduring fire.

I tried, and I tried, and I tried. The same result each and every time. Even in the open and sex positive lifestyle I play in.

They (straight men I slept with) all lost interest in me IF we had sex too soon. Even if they didn’t plan or know that would happen… it happened. Quickly. I saw it fade right in front of my very eyes. One time it was before the guy’s pants were on… that didn’t feel good… or go well.

I guess I just felt so unfairly judged, at an evolutionary level perhaps, for engaging in the very sex that these men wanted from me so badly. I get sentenced to “life without attraction” if I give in to THEIR begging for sex on the first or second date… how is that just? How is that cool? How is that worth continuing?

I think I felt so hurt that I switched to women exclusively as a way to avoid this very real sexual pitfall. I guess I hoped they didn’t have a testosterone filled cock driving the dynamic so I had a fucking chance at making it last. Afterall… if I’m not pressured to have sex early I’m able to wait longer… and even if I do fuck a girl on the first date I’m pretty hopeful she would be more excited about me, not less, the following days and weeks.

For now I’m contemplating a return to real dating… dating men and women (and couples) without sex early in the dynamic. Dating with the intention of finding meaningful connections that make all of us involved feel special, remembered, valued and desired. Friends… with maybe sex down the road.

Wish me luck on this leg of my sexual life journey. 😘

P.S. There are always exception cases. I’ve had a three year relationship start from a terrible one-night stand in college. But the overall rule appears to be the same… with noted but rare exceptions.