A card laid is a card played…in life, not just in Skip-Bo

In a typical card game there is a common agreement (spoken or unspoken) that when a playing card leaves your hands and is placed on the table the play is considered final and you cannot change your mind and play a different card. This applies whether you feel it was the best play or not, whether you regret it or not.

In life we have similar moments… moments when we take a specific action and there is no “undo” button. There are no takebacks. There is only what is and what will be afterwards.

You’ve heard similar analogies. “You can’t unring a bell. You can’t take a stone back after it’s thrown”, etc. It’s true and it’s essential to be aware that your words, actions and decisions do indeed have a ripple effect and consequences.

Sometimes the stakes aren’t that high, like in a Skip-Bo card game when you play a 9 from your hand instead of from the top of your stock pile… sometimes the stakes are very high for your happiness and wellbeing in life overall.

So before hitting send on that angry email to your boss, before you say a hurtful word to someone you care about, before you make pivotal decisions that impact your life, and before you dispose of people out of your life… make sure you mean it. Make sure you want to play those cards.

Sometimes we do play the wrong card and we know it. We feel it right away after it’s played but it’s already too late. The only way forward is to adapt, be resilient, and keep playing to the best of our abilities. Just because you did say or do something wrong doesn’t mean you can’t try and correct course moving forward with an apology or changed behaviour (in most cases).

Just because you can’t take the card back doesn’t always mean the game is over… however sometimes it does mean the game is over… so be sure.

With love and light,

Sarah (TorontoUnicorn)

July 2024

Side story: I read a story of an angry and hurt man who found out his partner cheated on him and pondered on a Reddit thread about how to pay the guy back. He wanted to beat him up or screw him up in some way. The most helpful advice I saw in the comments was a list of options on how to hurt or destroy the guy and beside each one was a dash and then the words “go to jail”, or “get criminally charged” - showing the original poster that although he had cards to play out of revenge, he was the one who would face the consequences of playing those cards. It was insightful that just because we have cards we can play, doesn’t mean they are what is best for our highest good.