The red line (with women)... when we’re done, we’re done
It’s funny… us women always seem to have a soft spot for certain exes and will repeatedly, even against all our friends advice, keep giving more and more chances to men who have proven how little they value us.
But then… then there is that red line…
All women know what I’m talking about. I’m sure many men know also.
The line that when crossed… is the end for us. Done. Over. Enough.
Suddenly the rose tinted glasses are off and we see the man for what he has shown us with his actions. Over and over and over again. (I.e. ignoring us, not making space for us, bailing too often, etc)
We become the fool to continue any further and so the choice is clear and the decision has been made in our brains. In the blink of an eye, in the sharpness of a last text, that one last time they bailed on you, wherever. That red line is crossed.
It’s true what they say about us normally forgiving women…. when that red line is crossed it really is over. There is emotional certainty in it for us. There is no more emotional conflict. There is nothing to miss… the guy we missed doesn’t exist anymore.
So yeah… you may get three, four, or five chances sometimes… but there is a red line with everyone and when it’s crossed it will be over. The attraction is lost. The “pull” is relaxed. We no longer need you. We no longer want you. We no longer care.
It’s a very real phenomenon for women. I personally just experienced this with an old ex/friend that I felt left me out in the cold (ghosted me) when I was asking to hang out (rare for me to ever initiate with men… it’s counter-romantic to me) and only messaged me every few months when he suddenly had a couple hours (after midnight) for me. Not to fuck… mind you… cause he wouldn’t even fuck me when we hung out before… he just wanted to be cuddle friends for a few blissful hours. Well this time when he reached out it was beyond the red line… I had even made a social media post showing a letter I wrote to the universe letting him go (it was very positive and kind).
I responded quickly, concisely, and even sent a link to the social media post I made (a letter to the universe saying goodbye to him). I wasn’t rude, I wasn’t mean. I was certain and I said so.
Moral of me sharing this story? I do understand some of the psychological dynamics between men and women and that women tend to accept exes back often… (almost as if men know that?) but it is a notable discovery to also experience this red line and when it’s crossed. There is an end to our generous selective amnesia on all the things they did that hurt us (whether intended or not) and we no longer make excuses for them even in our own minds. We are done and we know it. The cord has been cut… and they will know it too.
~TorontoUnicorn
